Feel the fear. Say it anyway.

Some stories have to be shared, no matter how scared it makes you feel.

I’m literally shaking at the thought of posting this, firstly because I’m unsure of the reaction I’ll get and secondly because it’s so important to me to raise awareness for this disease that I have suffered from for the past 4 years.

To read the rest of Rachael’s story: follow this link…

 

Feel the fear and say it anyway.

This is Rachael’s story.

My daughter’s story.

IBD, ostomy, colectomy

Ten days later

You might remember the mill. We’ve been through it often enough. The rollercoaster duly threw in its ups and downs. The screams echo inside and it seems like it’ll never end. One long nightmare ride that can’t be real. An end that never comes into sight.

It takes an age to progress. The future is so far off that time distorts its blanket and wraps eternity around each day. The team is shorthanded. There aren’t enough skills to go around. National policy trumps clinical discretion.

And then the future arrives.

With enough challenging of the accepted norm, we find the one surgeon who believes his own judgment matters. He stands up & gets counted. We count on him.

A long day and five hours pass.

Much sooner than anyone expected, the pain subsides and the healing takes hold.

Much sooner than anyone expected.

She’s home.

Paper Drum © Vinum

Paper Drum
© Vinum

Paper Drum: The EP

False Hope: Is it really possible?

Hope.

Hope that Springs Eternal, to misquote a pope which, if you’ve read Dan Brown, is misleading.

It occurred to me today in between the coughs that are all that remain of the second-hand cold I’ve been fighting off since my wife caught it from my sister on Boxing Day, (a sort of genetically modified, festively duplicated cold-in-law perhaps?), that there oughtn’t to be any such thing as a false hope.

It’s a criticism levied at those of us who look positively at negative situations by those chappies who’s own particular stance and opinion is negatively tuned, often by the potential for litigious back-lash. For some, it is apparently better to accept that the worst is reality and that entertaining the slightest optimism for a better outcome isn’t worth the risk of massive potential disappointment if the worst then duly turns up and kicks you right in the teeth.

I get it.

But surely this is simply not hoping; actively deciding that Hope is not worth the risk of Hope being dashed.

This is not false hope nor is it actually making a case for hope to be ignored. It is simply weighing up the pros and cons of entertaining hope and opting for the downside of life as either it is pretty likely to turn up anyway, or grinding your way through yet another disappointment is more than you can bear.

This is not a nice place to be. Life throws some horrible things at us sometimes. Sometimes Hope can feel too big.

But my point I suppose, is that taking the risk of hoping for a better outcome is more than simply ignoring the obvious truth of your situation, as some naysayers would have it.

Taking the risk of hoping can bring some immensely powerful guns to bear on an otherwise hope-less situation. Not least of these is that by truly opting for hope; opting to believe that there just might be way beyond the apparent certainty you’ve been expecting; that one of the most complex and least understood mechanisms in western culture can finally fire up and weigh in on your side.

Those of your that follow me regularly will probably have guessed that I’m alluding to that not-so-mythical mind-body connection. That aspect of eastern philosophy that is being slowly uncovered and accepted as our sciences become more adept at measuring such ephemerous concepts.

Maybe there’s a reason that hope springs eternal. Maybe Alexander was simply expressing a deeply ingrained feature of our human make-up that is designed to get us to stoke up the fires of the mind-body connection and generate every last vestige of opportunity for the bad thing, whatever it that bad thing might be, to be overcome.

Hope really can change your destiny.

But what if it didn’t.

What if, despite Hope, the bad thing happened. Your illness didn’t go away? The pain didn’t recede? It really did turn out to be the death that comes to us all, scythe in bony hand depending on your local anthropomorph?

Does this mean that the hope was false?

Not at all. Hope is just that. Hope. Nothing more.

My point is that by hoping, you bring every last possibility to bear on the side of your own victory. By hoping, every last possible chance and opportunity has been taken.

And if hope doesn’t work, what’s the consequence?

Well, for the time that you were hoping, life had a more positive feel. You did what you could. You felt as if you were in control. You were in charge of your destiny, not the bad thing.

The disappointment of losing your personal battle is no more disappointing because you hoped.

The hope wasn’t false. It was just hope.

If you look at Hope and you decide that it is not for you, then I’d ask that you consider your decision having thought and felt a little more about what Hope might bring, if only you dared to entertain it. It brings so much more than wishful thinking. It just might turn the tide.

One of the key aspects of my therapy practice is enabling clients to find Hope in what they had previously considered to be hope-less situations.

It’s one of the key turning points in therapy.

Once that fire of Hope is lit, we’re homeward bound.

RELATED:

Hypnotherapy Website:

Hypnotherapy downloads: (Pain, Migraine, Healing, Mindfulness Meditation, Relaxation)

 

hypnosis mp3, hypnosis blog,

They hope it reflects progress
© Tony Burkinshaw 2014

Another Way is Possible.

This is the very first Guest Post on this blog and I’m excited for the future.

So welcome to my very first guest blogger, who is none other than Grace Quantock, wellness provocateur, writer and founder of Healing Boxes CIC and Sick Chick to Trail Blazer. She is thriving with multiple autoimmune illnesses and lives in south Wales. Feel free to join the Trail Blazers’ Movement by signing up to the newsletter at sickchicktotrailblazer.com and follow Grace on twitter @grace_quantock

Another Way is Possible.

This is an urgent SOS sent direct to your hopeful heart. The way things are now is not the way they must stay. There is a place between cured and always sick, and you can play there.

I am writing this to you now, but I am also writing to the me I was 5 years ago.

Slumped in an old brown arm chair in front of a window that faced a blue tit’s nest, I stared at the tiny black box of a TV. I was dressed in a blue checkered cotton shirt of my husband’s, worn soft with age and I had crawled to the armchair directly from bed.

I was tired, my days seemed filled with insurmountable tasks – like moving, dressing or brushing my teeth.

And after all the diagnostic dead ends that we had reached over and over, the doctors and I all puzzled about where to go from here. How to even begin to correct my recaltricant body back onto a healthy path?

I realised that under all that, under the pain, and all the exhaustion, I was bored.

Truly, utterly, incalculably bored.

I hadn’t planned for my life to go like this (who does?) but once I’d cried myself out, I’d slumped in bed and spent months gazing at ‘Friends’ and wondering if I could ever get my hair to go like Rachel’s if I couldn’t lift a hairbrush.

But TV is boring and ultimately, I wanted to know, now I was stuck with these illnesses, what was I going to do with my life?

The answer to that came gradually, but it began in the moment I asked that question.

Because struggling under the weight of an illness is not our only option. We do have hope and access to support – I’m not talking cures, I’m talking about ways we can learn to live well with the challenges we face.

We can learn how to rock our hospital appointments

Make a check-list of packing to support us

Learn how to deal with a new diagnosis

Rehabilitate our attitudes to rest

Find ways to deal with our emotional tangles

And turn our challenges into leverage. 

I know you are amazing and I want to be part of a world in which your talents are expressed and enjoyed. I believe they are too important to allow illness to hold them back.

Are you with me?

Related Articles :

Pain, Procrastination and Broken Cycles (Posts of Hypnotic Suggestion)

A Slice of Time and a Tortoise Kebab, Please (Posts of Hypnotic Suggestion)

You’ve Got the Power (Posts of Hypnotic Suggestion)

just chillin' © Tony Burkinshaw 2013

just chillin’
© Tony Burkinshaw 2013

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,100 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.